I find myself a mess in someways. I find attachment a hard thing to get past. I was crushed, I was heartbroken, and now things are supposedly fixed, but really are they? My heart tells me to do something about it, yet my rational mind tells me to leave things the way that they are. We settled things and I was fine with the outcome. Really I was...But now I yearn. I feel like I am being teased.
What I want, will I get it? I like him so. His presence gives me butterflies in my stomach. When we hang out, it feels like time just flies by. I don't understand why I feel this way towards a person that has hurt me terribly, and yet I have forgiven him, because he is genuine. I have never been attracted to such a person. Maybe it is because he is torn just like I am. Maybe his fragility is something that I can relate to. Or maybe it is simply that our personalities and interests are very much the same. The one question I ask myself is this, what do I do about it? My heart aches everyday. I wait for his texts, I wait for his call. I wait for a response. I constantly check my cell phone like I'm obsessed. And maybe, just maybe, I am.
Stay rational Audrey...In the end, it will pay off. Don't act on emotion, it will lead you array.
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