Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Times, They be a Changing

Much has happened since my last post. I have come upon several grand epiphanies that will affect my life profoundly. Recent events have been quite dramatic to say the least. Some good, some of which have been bad, but in a sense, has created a better me. Or at least, my perception of a better me.

I have realized two vital things, one of which is that, those that you believe that you will have a lifetime relationship with is no longer plausible. People grow and mature in different directions once they have separated from each. Maturation is only achieved with those that you are with more. Those that you have experienced so much with. Those that understand you, and those that from the heart, will always be there for you no matter what. Those are the people that no matter what I do wrong, they will still stand up for me. They will fight for me, and I know deep down in my heart that they always will. These are the people that I am willing to fight for as well. The love that we have for each other is reciprocal. Those that have not matured in the same manner as me are now in a different path. They have different perspectives on life in comparison to me, and in the end, we will never agree. I have come to the conclusion, that no matter how hard I fight it, I have lost something with that group of people. No matter what, it will never be the same, and I will have to treat that group differently from the ones that really matter. I guess in the end my mother's advice was right all alone. I never wanted to believe her, but an elder's advice is always the best I suppose.

My second grand epiphany revolves around my family. I have never appreciated my family so much. They are my life line, they are my blood. If I could only choose one thing on this Earth to have left, I would choose them. This does not include my immediate family but this also includes my cousins and my aunts and uncles. I am specifically speaking about my mother's side. My family on my mother's side is very close with each other. We are almost like brothers and sisters. I appreciate them so much for being in my life and for loving me, and taking care of me. I know that they will always listen to me and give me advice when I need it, not to mention be there for me. I have never loved my family so much in my entire life. Not to mention, my nephews have also severely impacted the way I am. I have come to realize that I am happiest when I am around them, when I am playing with them. No matter what they do, they always bring a smile to my face. I enjoy that the most out of life, being able to make them laugh and have fun with them. To me, they are the sunshine in my heart. I know that sounds kind of cheesy, but they really are. I love those kids to death. Especially my little Ryan in Seattle. I almost cried when I had to leave him from my last visit. I could not help but stare at him. I enjoy his company way too much. I just want to watch him grow up, and be his best friend. Family in the end is my life, and my life is my family.

The other significant change in my life is in the realm of love, if you could call it that. I have recently met someone special to me. This person makes me happy. He treats me very well, and respects me. We share many of the same interests. Right now we are dating, but I hope that eventually it will be taken to a more serious level. I never thought that it could happen so fast, but I guess it can. This guy came out of nowhere, but now I really do like him so. We talk all the time even though it is somewhat of a long distance relationship. I hope for the best in this.

I guess life for once is treating me somewhat better. All of these truths and recent events have made me more aware of myself as a person and has changed me for the better. Although I have lost in some of this, in the end, I have gained in the long run.